Fruit Salad a la Kendall

When I got home from Spanish today, I thought to myself, "Tengo hambre.". And then I thought to myself, "why am I thinking in Spanish?". And THEN I thought to myself, "Quiero las frutas. Quiero las frutas muy, muy deliciosas.". And then I proceeded to think to myself, "WHAT IS HAPPENING IN MY BRAIN RIGHT NOW.". And finally, I thought to myself, "Silencio. Voy a la cocina, rapidamente." So I did. And this is what I grabbed out of my refrigerator:

That's two apples, two kiwis, a pineapple, some strawbs, and a bag o' cherries. While cherries are delicious and nutritious, I promptly put them back in the fridge after this picture was taken. I just wasn't in the mood to pit every single one of them, ya know? Do you feel me? I feel me.

So I started with the apples. Why? I don't know. You could start with any fruit you wanted to. I like apples. They're my second favorite fruit. Want to know what my favorite fruit is? I'll tell you in a minute. HEY! No scrolling down to find my answer. That's cheating. Be patient.

Then I cut up the kiwi. Have you ever eaten the skin? I have. I didn't today, I haven't eaten the skin in like, 10 years. But it's really not THAT bad. Like if I was stuck on a deserted island and all I had to eat were kiwi skins, I would be okay. I don't know if you would be okay, but I would be fine.

Then I decided it was the strawberries' turn. Something about slicing strawberries always makes me think of this delicious cake that I make. Maybe I'll showcase it for you. Maybe I won't. Hint: I probably will. In a couple weeks, to be precise. I know you'll be waiting with bated breath for that. Hush now, cut your strawberries.

Then I got to cut up the pineapple. Notice how I "got" to do this. Most people don't like cutting pineapple. It's a cumbersome and slightly annoying chore. Especially if you have any cuts on your hands/fingers. Lucky for me, I don't have any. Today. I LOVE cutting pineapple. 1) Because it's my favorite fruit (Bingo), and 2) I really like the fact that I have a legitimately sharp knife to cut it with. It really makes it an enjoyable task. Until you almost slice your finger off. I don't want to talk about it.

Then you throw it all together and mix it up like an iced drink. It should look a little something like the above picture. If it doesn't, I don't know what you did wrong. This recipe couldn't be anymore basic. I'm not saying this to dishearten you. I'm saying this to ... encourage future fruit salad making, because honestly it ain't that hard partner. I believe in you. And so does my roommate. She doesn't know that she believes in you, but she does. Trust me.

INGREDIENTS:

- 2 apples

- 2 kiwis

- 1 package of strawberries

- 1 whole pineapple

Instructions:

- Cut up all fruit. Eat some whilst cutting. Put it all in bowl. Give it a toss. Put it in your mouth. Put more in your mouth. Put even more in your mouth. Look like my hamster for a minute. Swallow, repeat.